my First blog

so the coolest thing about christmas eve is opening presents... and i truly got a good haul this year! from the sexy, snazzy clutches and bags, necklaces, shirts and the ever awesome Ipod video from "santa" (haha!)... am just luving it all. i'd take a picture of them all, but i just can't be bothered right now. But here's one of me on one of my favorite presents: it's a goose down and feather pillow, baby! hell yeah! i've always wanted one of these, so to finally have one was awesome. haha! i got a really good night's sleep to say the least! THANKS LOADS TO EVERYONE FOR THE AWESOME PRESSIES! :)

Left the office early yesterday and went straight to Kristine's house for her birthday dinner. Hung out with my extremely cute inaanak. she's so awesome. she smiles at people and she even "talks" to people. we had her "yakking" for quite a while last night. my inaanak is the cutest! especially with her snazzy-assed hooded jacket and that headband. can you say "fo'shizzle"?? ahaha! classic. i luurrvvee her to bits. :) -==- at around 930 or so, Kris and I start heading on over to Les' house for the Sakote christmas party. Got damn buzzed - all those yummy drinks. haha! Great, great gifts also from the secret santa thing. ahaha! :) had a really good time with my friends... when sakote has its christmas party, i know for sure that it's christmas na. saya! -==- get to open presents later! let me be a kid and get all excited now. haha! :D Merry Christmas everyone!

dec 20 - Gasso Christmas party. Julette, Angel and I walked into the party damn late but hey... our el cheapo bading costumes were damn awesome! ahaha! anyway, had fun dancing the night away, being dizzy and even taking care of gel. ayus. :D i'll edit this when i finally get my pictures so that's all i'll say for now. but if you want a sneak peek, look at angel's blog, and click on her multiply. :) Kampai! (picture taken by Pau, i think...)

no matter what i do, i can't get through him. and i've tried to be nice about it and i even tried to be angry about it. but wala. it's like talking to a brick wall with a twisted sense of logic. i can't believe i did all this. that the person i'm looking at is precisely the way he is because of me. i want to reach into his brain and rearrange all his thoughts so the sane, sensible and good person that i know is in there somewhere will come back out. but i did this. this. it was all me. it hurts to see him like that. i hate hearing him speak like that because it breaks my heart. as bad as everything is, i do care. i want to end up friends. i don't want him to throw away his life. me. me. me. oh God, it's all because of me

there are gifts under the tree, our house is as bright as anything and as noisy as anything with everyone here already and the others are starting to arrive. it's a little cold now, but i can definitely do without the rain. christmas is really in the air... -==- life has changed somewhat, but i guess all you gotta do is accept change with open arms and roll with the punches. when life hands you lemons, you try your best to make lemonade, diba? it's a different christmas this year. even for me, it's a little strange. :)

the weather has some sort of weird schedule lately. one day it'll be sunny, the next day it'd be raining and cold. today, i woke up to gloomy skies and the rain. and damn man, it's cold today! it's the perfect sink-in-your-bed-hide-under-your-sheets-watch-tv-all-day-and-snuggle weather. sigh. today's that one day that i wish i didn't have to spend in front of my pc at work, doing squat. sigh.

Thanks to Pau for my new kick-ass template. i'm loving it! :)

i'm ALMOST done with my christmas list. ALMOST. i have two people left on my list and i've been going around malls for the past week and found naught. I even went to cuenca last weekend and came up with nothing as well. What do you get a guy who has everything and can possibly have anything? What do you get a woman who can possibly buy anything she wants? that's right, i still don't have gifts for my dad and my mom . if i could wrap love and affection into one great big box, i would have done so already and stuffed it under the tree along with the other gifts. but no... i want to give them something. it's something i've wanted to do eversince i started earning enough money to give gifts to everyone in my family. they give me stuff and i love being able to do so for them. i have until thursday (friday's the FILC xmas dinner so no shopping) to find something. gah. helllppp....

I'M SORRY i know you're disappointed and angry because i wasn't as open as you wanted me to be. and because you think you're the contrabida all the time. you're not. as i grew older, i started thinking of you as a friend. but you are my mom first of all. and then when some things are hazy and grey, and which i cannot explain, i get scared na to tell you. i guess i'll always be scared of you - scared of what you'll say. and i'm sorry it's like that. but it has gotten better through these years. i know now that i should have said something at the start pa lang. no matter how much i thought it was strange, weird and... wrong. if i had told you, it probably wouldn't have been like this at all. i'm really sorry. for the way i reacted last night. for keeping things from you. i'm sorry, sorry, sorry po.

i made a decision for myself and i thought it through. i did. i know that there are risks involved taking this uncertain road. i know that one day, i may be the one on the other side. but you know what? while i am sorry and contrite for my mistake, and sorry for hurting someone in the process, i knew it was something i had to do. and i'm happy where i am. truly happy. in fact, if you ask those who are close to me, they'll tell you that i am happier than they've seen me in such a long, long time. i'm happy and you hate me for it. give me a chance to say my side of the story because there are some things that you don't know. i always found it hard to tell you some stuff when i knew you'd judge or when i knew how you'd react. like what you're doing now. i love all the times i could run to you and tell you things and make chismis and make sumbong. there are just some things i'm scared to say that's all. and now that i don't want to hide things fr...

the end to such a torturously slow week anyway. i've never been more glad to see a Friday in my life. haven't really been doing much at work, thus the days seem to just crawl on by. but the end of this week is here. i wish it was 6pm already. fast forward naman oh! haha! :) -==- i've finally gotten some progress on my christmas list. watch me finish it off by sunday. i need to start wrapping them things na! i looovvveee christmas shopping. i love walking around, looking for things to give to other people and hoping like hell they'd like it. i love christmas. -==- shit, i'm just glad it's Friday na. :p

saw this movie last night with julette, angel, anton and pau. well... they watched it. i only half-watched it because i was concentrating on keeping my food down (damn that chinese place in the G4 foodcourt!!) and ended up having to leave halfway through the movie to run home. and run home, i did. straight to the bathroom. i really, really hate worshipping the porcelain god man. i hate it!!! so i threw my whole dinner up and i'm as hungry as anything right now. except i'm a little scared to eat. :p waduh. so... i don't have any comments about the movie, except that i liked the parts that i actually saw. i'll get the dvd na lang and watch it at home. :) -==- it's been pretty quiet here at work. to quote guia, it truly is "the season to be lazy, falalalala lalalala". all i want now is to slack off and forget about work muna. hehe. so i'm pretty glad it's quiet right now. -==- i can't believe it's only wednesday... i've been feeling like i...

there are twenty two... count 'em, twenty two days till Christmas. what the hell?! the last time guia put up a countdown as her status message on YM, it was like, 80-something days pa. where the hell did the weeks go? so anyway, 22 days till christmas... 10 days till mom gets here 14 days till dad, nek and inna get here and i still don't have my gifts. not one of them. zilch. yikes. man, i really need to get off my ass and seriously start all the christmas shopping na. i'm damn late this year. :p

Much Has Been Said -bamboo- Much has been said Said you'd never leave Why'd it have to be Harder than it had to be. Don't you throw blame You were a part of this Wasn't supposed to end With us just walking away So many times we tried Holding on to the pain but in my baby's eyes I see my shame Asking why you had to leave Wasn't I strong enough to make you see That the biggest part of this It's not about you and me But just be wrong If we held on So maybe tomorrow we'll find A taste for the old days hard lessons We've left behind This mirror's an open door I can barely stand to see myself I don't know what to do anymore I'm crying out for help Ohh Lord... Much has been said Will I never learn Keeping my fingers crossed Praying for my luck to turn But I can't complain I'm living it easy Job's keeping me busy Going crazy Can't describe the way it felt When you left said your goodbyes It just seems crazy for me to think That I...

a cute little story, as written by my dear Guia, shedding a bit of light on one of the funniest parts of our boracay trip: Hello gorgeous friends of mine! I have a funny story... I was flipping through an old issue of Philippine Tatler the other week while I was at the salon (threading... ouchie...) and I saw one of the "minors" on it (mukhang mayaman 'to!). He was the taller, darker boy... the one who had the balls (literally, and figuratively) to come up to us and ask us out for a drink. His name is Mikhel Daez. Anyway, I mentioned to my sister Nina that there were little Atenean boys who introduced themselves to us in Bora, and I told her to look for this Mikhel Daez kasi, in fairness, may itsura naman. The name registered with her, but she couldn't remember where or how she knew the name. Turns out, Nina knows the older brother pala! And by older, i mean nina and the older brother are classmates, both on their first year in Ateneo. Haha! So HS nga talaga yung mga ...

everyone greet Julette! :) here's to more night-outs, drunken dances, kuwentos, food trips, irap/"mean girls" (according to kris) sessions, gwapo dudes, shopping, travel plans that will hopefully push through and, erm... madami pa! hehe. hope you have a great day! -==- The Love Story - it's a really old book, apparently. but I love it anyway. it's short, sweet, straightforward and lovely. haha! i can't wait to get a DVD of the movie. i've been seeing it everywhere but never paid much attention to it. now i want to! -==- i've been going through my days half-asleep lately. it's tiring being sleepy all the damn time man! but i can't seem to bring myself to sleep early. so this is really all my fault. hehe. -==- i. really. have. nothing. to. say. can't wait to go christmas shopping!

was a blast! check out my multiply for pictures. (yes, yes, i made one na for my pictures - angel's right, it's so much easier to upload with multiply). i know everyone wants to get their copies na. haha! :) i had fun, Mi! thanks loads for another awesome birthday bash. oh and someone please, please remind me next time to never mix beer with tequila? goddamn. :)

tee-hee. i won't say a word until everyone's seen it. but, i will definitely say that, for a really big fan - i am freakin' satisfied. i lurves it. lurves it. hehe. watch na kayo! :) -==- went to Zara last night - and bought some shirts. patay... gastos na naman! :p ahahaha! but i'm happy with what i got. :D -==- despite me being happy bout a good night last night, i had a pretty bad start to this morning. because, bloody fucking hell - i'm missing MONEY. aarrrggghhhh!!!!!

ohmigod. and we're watching at 9pm tonight! after all these months of checking out the teaser trailers and the full trailers, we'll finally get to sit down and watch the whole movie! pucha man. i can't wait!!

Friday - The Fort with Julette, Iya, Anna and Kaye (yes yes, we have the same name). Had dinner at Zong. Sat around with drinks at Jill's, listening to 80s music (astig!) and then moved on over to Prince of Jaipur for some hip hop! Les and Kris followed at Jaipur and it was fun. Loved the music. They "launched" Kanye West's new album. Saw lots and lots of very interesting things: Woman (ho?) in pink grinding against this man, who looked like he didn't know what to do with himself anymore. During the next song, she was up against his friend na. ahaha! Girl in green with the tiniest skirt - tease daw sabi ni les. and last, but definitely not least - the guy who slumped at the end of our little couch thing asleep. he was so fast asleep, he didn't even notice that four girls (erm, that would be us) had started dancing in front of him just for fun. hahaha! kick ass night. :) i got to dance!! finally!! i actually thought the whole jaipur thing was gonna be a bust be...

guia was bored yesterday and sent this little survey thing around. hehe. of course, since tagalog yung mga sagot nya, tagalog din (well, tried to mostly put it in tagalog) yung mga sagot ko. and since naaliw ako, i'll put it here na lang din. haha! anong say mo sa... 1.lalaking umiiyak? ok lang, basta the occassion calls for it. wag naman yng basta basta na lang, iiyak diba? ano beh.... 2.lalaking seloso? depende as pagka-seloso. meron na selos na cute, nakaka-aliw. meron ding selos na nakakainis kasi sobra na. :p 3.lalaking mahilig sa sex bomb girls? basta tingin lang - kasi ibig sabihin, he's appreciating girls. pero kung yun ang peg, ano beh.. wag na. haha! 4.lalaking hindi marunong mag luto? doesn't really matter. i can't cook either - we can have other people cook for us! haha! 5.lalaking pala tanong? pareho kay guia - it depends on the questions, how he's asking and my mood... hahaha! 6.lalaking mama's boy? e...

i have enough of a hard time asking people to do things for me, or letting people do things for me out of their own goodness of heart so i am amazed at people who have no problem doing so. in fact, i am just flabbergasted at people who are just soo.... makapal ! take for example this person i'm supposed to be meeting later. he had his secretary call me to say that i was bringing merienda later. exact words: "ms. kaye, magdadala ka daw ng merienda later." (take note, it was a statement, not a question). and they specified where the merienda will be from too. yellow cab pizza. naks naman. i,on the other hand, just cannot believe it. i mean, it's not part of my personality, so it fascinates me when people are like that. i'm sorry... pero shit man, ang kapal mo. :p

well, we first thought that it wasn't gonna push through. I mean, we were meant to leave on the 31st of October after all. And we actually did. As we were about to land in Kalibo, pilot tells us that we may not be able to because of poor visibility due to weather. You could cut the tension in the plane with a knife as people all prayed that we could. After all, almost everyone on that plane was on holiday too. Then they announce that we're about to land. And yet, we were gaining altitude. then comes the captains voice, "I'm sorry, we tried our best... but we have to turn back to Manila." or something to that effect. Guia and I, being seatmates, looked at each other and went, "no way..." :p back in Manila, we called PAL, got our flight re-scheduled for the next day, ended up extending our stay from three days to four because there weren't any flights available on the 3rd. And thus, FILC's Boracay adventure finally started on the 1st of November. W...

Flew in yesterday. 4 awesome days. 3 awesome friends. :) pictures and actual entry to follow soon...

going back there tomorrow... with my FILC girls! wohoo! :D please, please, please Lord, don't let it rain....

there's a halloween party here at the office today. it officially starts at 2pm but there are kids around already. i'm loving how it's not so quiet. haha! it's actually pretty magulo at the moment. they're all watching the incredibles at this other room, and it's taking all of my energy to stop myself from going in there and sitting with them. i'll just go back for my favorite parts na lang. hehe. :) -==- i met my inaanak, Bea, last night. she is the cutest thing! haha! she's about a month and a half old, but she holds up her head already and stares at you intently when you say hi to her. she also "talks" back when you talk to her! ang cute! :) she laughs as well. we were kidding around about how she's already making pa-cute because it's almost christmas. kris, kristine, les and i spent hours naman, just sitting around, catching up. i had so much fun. it was like being with siblings. :) happiness last night. -==- it's the weekend! 2...

this is how pathetic i can be: i have a crush on an anime. seen final fantasy vii yet? well, i just saw it in full and gawddang, i have a crush on Cloud. at least, he's a step up from the fushigi yuugi days. :D but goddammit, he's not even real. waduh. -==- as i get older, i notice how friendships evolve. the thing now is honesty. and i love how everyone's just so refreshingly honest, in one way or another. of course there are things you keep to yourself, but i find that everyone's slowly learning to speak up about something when needed. i have absolutely no point there. :p wala lang, i love them all, every single psycho one of them. :D haha! -==- six tulogs na lang, boracay na! wohoo! -==- i have had this quote in my phone inbox for ages - which says a lot because i don't keep quotes anymore. got it from angel from when i was going crazy and i think some people will find it apt these days: Stress = the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's...

by Urbandub Say a prayer for me I need a new life I’m not blind cuz I see the truth and the lies. Heed my words Listen to advice You don’t need to run away and take your life. No, can’t live this way… So you go for miles and miles And miles and miles and miles Destination nowhere No means or how, Saw you go for miles and miles Soul searching for how. Just take a look around at the faces that you meet Everybody’s got their own pains like you and me Never fall away… Whatever you do choose life The thoughts on your mind choose life Wherever you go choose life Choose life. -==- so, no more sermons na lang siguro muna (i still owe you that diba? and i haven't seen you in a while) but this song will suffice in the meantime. :)

My little cousin Carlo may only be almost four but he is already wise in the ways of men. In short, he already knows how to kiss ass. :D hehe. This morning, he was all jumpy and hyper because he was told that he was going to the grocery with us. He loves getting out of the house, because it means riding in the car so he was one happy little boy earlier. When I came down from my room to eat lunch, he was literally bouncing off the kitchen walls in excitement. I told him to please settle down and be patient and then knelt and asked for a kiss. He knew that his going to the grocery was dependent on me, so you know what he did? He gave me a kiss, hugged me, then asked to be carried AND then goes, "i luv you!" hahahahaha!! and mind you, Calo (i call him Calo sometimes), hardly ever says I love you even if you're saying it to him na. I put him down, looked at him and thought, wissseee child. :D And of course i wasn't going to leave him behind, so he was with us earlier at t...

full-on friday mode today. am so psyched! i have no exact reason to be happy about really but i am just a happy ray of sunshine today. :D i love fridays!!!

"Unfortunately for you, I am THE necessary evil." nicolas cage rocks, and so does The Lord of War. yebah.

today, my little sister turned 15. Which really makes her not so little anymore (in turn, that just makes me old. gah.) So let me tell you a little something about Aneka. Let's start with her name. Aneka. A lot of people wonder where we got this, so here's the story. Her full name is Katerina Anna. ""Aneka" came about right after she made her very tense entrance into the world (emergency CS because her heart rate was slowing down and we were in danger of losing her). I remember this clearly. My dad and I were sitting in the hospital room waiting for the go signal to see her in the nursery. I was watching TV, he was sitting in one of the armchairs thinking. We already knew she was Katerina Anna, we just didn't have a nickname. All of a sudden, my dad goes, "We're calling her Aneka ." Apparently, he got the nickname by reading it backwards and removing some of the letters and with some rearranging. Well, Aneka she became then. When we moved to J...

last saturday, yan and i watched 40-year old virgin at powerplant. it's pretty funny ha, not bad at all. and my aliw quote for the week comes from this movie: it went something like: you've been doing right all your life, it's time you try some wrong. "try some wrong" - classic. :D hehe

so i'm in my bed, early sunday morning (1-2am, i think) and i'm getting ready to sleep when i get this text from kris, my best friend. this, after about two weeks of absolutely nothing. i was surprised to say the least, and happy (because i missed her already) to hear from her. i read my text and i get this sinking feeling in my stomach. she was thanking me, saying sorry and told me she loved me. my instincts were shouting that something was wrong, so i hurriedly replied back. no reply. i took a deep breath and laid back down. except i couldn't sleep anymore. and to think i was practically dead on my feet when i arrived. the shadows in my room were starting to scare me, so i prayed - prayed that she'd be ok and be kept safe. when that didn't work, i called Les. he said he got a text from her too, and that i shouldn't worry because she wasn't going to do anything. somehow satisfied with that, i waited for sleep to come. except i was so uneasy, and i was getti...

gawd, is this some sort of yearly thing? it's almost a tradition - whenever it hits at this particular time of the year, i get restless. and that just goes on until the actual end of the year. and it's not as if i'm not busy with work or whatever. i've been actually using my brain lately - after it being on hiatus for a month or so. :p but i. am. still. restless. i wonder what i'm looking for now?? -==- the kick-ass thing about this month tho, is the upcoming beach trip at the end of the month with my girls. this was a goal - now it's practically fulfilled. i've got our tickets, our accommodations are set. all that's left now are 20 days till we go. knowing how time has this ability to just zoom past, i'm sure those 20 days will be gone in no time. -==- speaking of time zooming past, i wish it'd slow down somehow. this year just flew on by, i don't think i've had enough time to really digest everything that has happened. i don't even ...

it's been a year since i first started working here. i came in on the first of october last year, which was a friday. so this week, is exactly my first week one year ago. it's been a year since i told myself that it's time to jump in and start swimming. and you know what? the year that i've been here, is also the most interesting year of my life so far. so many things happened, so many things learnt. amazing really, that it's already been a year. and that it's only been a year. time definitely flew past.

or they never die at all. it's funny that i use the word "habit", because it isn't a "habit" per se, it's an emotion. i just noticed that for everyday this week, we've asked each other for updates. we keep our ears peeled for anything new. this despite saying that we're past caring already. i guess you can say that in some way, that may not exactly be true. in some twisted way, we do care. we do wonder what's happening we do wonder if she's ok i guess we can't really help it. but there are lots of messed up, disappointed feelings. it isn't easy considering how strongly we felt (and feel) but yeah, in some twisted way, we do care.

four bottles of strong ice + seats right next to one set of speakers + ryan + a bunch of cool bands = one of kaye's definitions of a kick-ass weekend night. or friday night, as the case may be. yan and i hung out at 6underground - turns out that the event was for halikinu radio (atenean friends, did i get that right? what does that mean anyway??? halikinu??). we got to hear: out of body special - who i really liked. i was about to get one of the CDs they were giving out but this overzealous group of guys at the foremost table grabbed them all. dammit. happy meals - saya saya. dicta license - soo rage against the machine. even now. :D kapatid - karl roy rocks. kwjan - since they were the last band, we only stayed for the first two songs. i also heard audible and saw a friend's younger brother (who's all grown up now!) taking after his bro - rapping really well! and this other band who's name i can't remember, but they rocked as well. had tons of fun. buzzed when i go...

the reason behind the silence is simple: i treasure everything really. and the past is filled with a lot of good memories. anything that falls under the category of the past shall remain forever hidden and silenced. after all, there's no use in dredging up ancient history right? our past includes a lot of secrets, a lot of excuses, a lot of back-up stories and just a lot of fun. that has the right to rest and be placed on a different shelf, for no one to touch. no one to hear. that's the reason for the silence. that, and because i don't want to end up saying something i'll regret. or maybe don't even mean. and there's no use giving everything up, and making everything worse. and because i just... don't want to say anything anymore. cut clean. whatever's with me, is mine. no words out of this girl. not anymore.

i never thought i'd see that day when you'd get up and walk out on us. i guess it was bound to happen, anyway. from now on, until who knows, i'm keeping my silence. no words from me to help you or her - either way. nothing. back to where i was at the start of this - leaving you to your own devices, leaving her to her own devices. i know i'm leaving les to this, but i know he'll understand. nothing i can do or say will help. so i'm keeping my silence. i'm sad. for you. because of you. i'm scared for you. scared of you. a moment of silence please... something died in me today.

i had a horribly interesting weekend. it was both horrible and interesting. since i'm a generally cheery, happy person, i'll start with all the interesting stuff. the interesting stuff: first, we (anton, julette, yan and i) finally tried out brazil, brazil last friday . came out with full stomachs and one of their yoyos as a souvenir (and yes, we asked for it, ok? hehe). saturday had me watching the uaap cheer comp on tv. wasn't able to get tickets... plus, i couldn't have gone anyway since i had to take the car to the casa (watch out for the story on that one in the "horrible" section). yan and i went to the wolfgang tribute at 70s bistro after dinner. kicked ass man! \m/ i was never really able to listen to wolfgang before (at the height of their popularity, i was in jakarta :p) but man, now i'm a fan... years too late! haha! we went only because yan's a big wolfgang fan... at the end of the night, i walked out of 70s bistro with newfound respect ...

about myself this week. don't laugh. it's stupid. i found out this week that i.... don't know how to peel oranges using my fingers! i really don't. pucha, how embarrassing man. :p

super thanks, babe. :) -==- somebody mark this week down somewhere - i've actually got nothing to say. me. nothing to say. damn, that doesn't happen a lot! :p

always stuck in the middle. that's me.

aside from Kristine, my cousin's girlfriend also gave birth yesterday. that makes two inaanak (godchildren) born on the same day. that'll make remembering birthdays easier, definitely. and then this morning, ryan's sister texts me that their eldest sister is in the hospital now, in labor. baby is expected to pop out within the day. wow.. all three people that i knew were pregnant, all giving birth a day apart. asstttiiggg.. :)

i don't know what i'm going to do with you. but if this is the way you want it, then fine. i'm not going to go back on my word, because i'm looking forward to it too. i don't know why you can't just say it's ok. you've already done so anyway. :p but if you're willing to give up time together just for this, then fine. i won't be able to do anything because you're stubborn that way. :p

Kristine gave birth to Bianca today. wohooo!!! it's an "OHMIGAWD" moment. apologies to officemates who saw me squealing like a high school kid earlier as i was on the phone with kris. this is exciting, pare. :p hehe! :D

has anyone noticed that even the advertisment for the upcoming adcongress pokes fun at ricky reyes' infamous "ang ganduuuuhhhhhhhhhh"? hehehehe... funny funny. i swear, everytime i see that shampoo ad, i'm torn between laughing and throwing the remote at the tv from sheer frustration. :D

Seen on the box of a particular brand of soap: For best results: - wet skin. duuuhhhh.......!!!!!! dumb-ass! hahahahaha!

i was texting my mom the other day (tuesday, actually) to ask her about something. in her reply, she mentioned that my sister wasn't doing so well because her best friend had left the night before. she asked me to call my sister just to talk to her. as usual, i didn't know what to say. the sad fact of living as an expat and going to an I.S. is that you never really know who will stay or leave. and sometimes, people just leave with no warning, just when you've gotten complacent and taken for granted that you're all going to be in one place for a long time. it's sadder still, when you've practically grown up with that person, only to be hit with the reality that yes - even tho it seemed impossible - they are leaving town. poor kid. that's a lot to take. nothing shakes up your life more than to find a normally permanent fixture in your life gone . scarier still to realize that you may never see them again - unless of course, fate is kind to you and brings you b...

first off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! like all humans, he is a complex being. the thing that makes this more mind-boggling is that he comes across as the simplest guy ever. but trust his girlfriend, who's been with him for five years, 6 months, three days and counting, when i say that no, he's complex. sometimes it takes all of my brain power (and in some cases, the combined brain power of trusted girlfriends) to figure him out. but that only makes me love him more. even though at times i say that he drives me crazy. i read in a magazine that bonded couples always experience emotions in extremes whenever it's brought on by their significant other. it's always extreme happiness, extreme sadness, extreme disappointment, extreme love, extreme anger. i kind of agree with this because no one, and i mean, NO ONE, can make me crazy like he does... and vice versa! but let me say this again, that just only makes me love him more. we've gone through a lot together (and expect that ...

aneka is going to beijing for a week in october. damn these JIS project weeks! i do not hate BIS as much as i do this moment, which is really ironic because high school was a lifetime ago! but damn, why didn't we have these man???? aarrggghhh... i told my parents that they now owe me four foreign trips to match aneka's. tee-hee. i'm a brat, forgive me. :D she's been to malaysia, australia.. and now she's going to beijing and flying to budapest right after for strings. that's just not fair. :p oy Nek!! you really better bring back good pictures (and not just of yourself) or else...!! :p

well, seems as if normal people aren't the only indecisive ones anymore... you gotta add our government to the list. first they said, just schools and government offices. and then they declared it a public holiday and gave people enough time to rejoice and plan on the rest of the long weekend. and THEN... then, they revert back and say that no, only schools and government offices. so here we are, at work, while the rest of the population are still sleeping in their beds. i left the house late today and i still got here 15 minutes early. whatta day! :p -==- last saturday, Yan and i went back to Marikina Shoe Expo to eat lunch at Bellini's with Anton and Julette. Food was great, it was fun! :D i really, really wanted to get M-Egg from one of the shops there (forgot the name lang) but they were closed! waaahh!! :p gonna come back soon for some... and maybe check out vintage pop uli. we walked into one of the antique shops there and had a grand time looking at old pictures, old vin...

earlier today, i texted ino caluza to tell him thanks again for making me the perfect pair of jeans. hehe, today i got my Viktor jeans and i'm as happy as a bunny. i have three more styles in mind that i want done, so watch me not have any money to spend for the next three months. hehe. :) -==- went to see the MTV Pilipinas Awards at Araneta with Yan last thursday. got tickets from tito, wohoo! got pretty good seats too. it was pretty cool... loved the performances, esp the opening (radioactive sago and junior kilat) and the finale (lots of different rockers together). also loved kitchie's "wag na wag mo sasabihin" performance because she was backed by the award-winning (as they announced) UA&P Chorale. Sila helen and company are awesome! check it out when they televise it! :)

i know i go out a lot. in fact, most people know that i don't spend a lot of time inside the house. the ones who know me best know that i cannot stand being in the house for long periods of time. a lot of people don't understand why, so here's an attempt at an explanation. and no, it's not because i'm a gimikera at heart, there's more to it than that. kris and i were talking about this last night, about how some people don't really understand our reasons why because they've never been in our shoes. here's the thing: essentially, i'm alone here. sure, i go home to a house with my cousin and my tito and two maids but they're not mom. they're not dad. they're not even aneka and inna. not MY family. so yes, i consider myself alone. staying at home is just completely miserable because it's LONELY. it's quiet. it doesn't have that warmth it has everytime everyone is around. when everyone's gone, i just see it as a house. a s...

i had to be at work before 7am today because the big car's coded today (small car is getting serviced/fixed) so i got here at 630am. 630!!! :p crossing my fingers, i went up to our office, hoping that it was open already because i really wanted to sleep on one of the couches until 9 or something. lo and behold, it was open! yay! i put my bag in my chair, grabbed my pillow and headed for the pantry to sleep. ok, so fine, i got a couch. but the first half hour of sleep i got wasn't exactly the best sleep ever. i had one of my stupid nightmare things where i can feel everything around me, seem to see everything around but i can't wake up. i hate it when that happens... it takes a lot of effort to move something so i can be jolted awake. not only that - i kept hearing voices! it felt like everyone was at work already when in truth, there weren't much people around. i felt like people were walking in and out of the pantry all the time, talking in loud voices. in the instance...

today, my beautiful mother turns 50. and no, she doesn't look anything like her age, so i really wanna be like her when i grow up. tee-hee. i got my so-called dancing skills from my mom as well as the ability to play piano (she forced me to, hehe), the way i stand in pictures (straight-back only please, feet arranged perfectly), my jealous streak, her strength (which i think i have). i didn't get her ultimate warayot, palaaway attitude (i'm the ultimate peacemaker, hehe) which is a good thing or else.. lagot... haha! she's scary when she's mad! :p my mom and i have been through a lot - being a housewife (i only remember her working for a short period of time and i was still 6 then), i was with her more than i was with my dad. i used to be so attached to her. i was used to dad being away, but if mom was away - that was ultimate disaster for me! i went through my "i hate my mom" stage because she'd be so strict and she would enforce it with the loudest o...

sometimes i think that i think too much. either that, or i'm constantly thinking. i have so many thoughts running through my head every time, that sometimes i can't figure them out. and these are my thoughts, mind you. i can just literally feel them running through my brain, and they all blend into each other so it's all just... mush. half the time, i'm jumping from one thought to another, with absolutely no connection between the two. been doing that a lot lately too, from all the free time on my hands during the day (wait, not that i don't like the free time, i ain't jinxing myself! :p). wish that i could just be thinking about just one thing lang for once - instead of a bunch of other stuff all at the same time. :p -==- mang joe, one of the drivers here, is walking around with a band-aid smack dab on the middle of his newly-shaved head. this, after he explicitly stated that they shouldn't put a band-aid on top of his head, and just put betadine on the gas...

last night, julette, anton and i sat patiently (impatiently? hehe) in traffic to get ourselves to greenhills for dinner. that's right, greenhills! :) we picked up ryan first though and then we all ended up in JT's Manukan somewhere in Greenhills. one word: sarap!!! i look at chicken bacolod now and think it's flat... hehe. :D lotsa, lotsa (bwehehe!) fun there! we've got other places lined up, well into next month. food trippin's fun man... haha! :D -==- got a friend here at work who's mom was rushed to the hospital yesterday. we heard late yesterday that her mom was moved to icu and that she's still under observation. my friend is here today, at work, despite everyone telling her to not come in. even now, people are telling her to leave. her workload's pretty heavy at the moment, i can hear her quietly insisting na, no... can't turn over to you yet, i'll just finish this one. except in this line of work, nothing's ever really finished. i gue...

being able to hang out with dad means a lot of things: - i get to have him to myself, because that hardly happens anymore - i get free, good food! - i can possibly get money (i dunno why, but he just feels like he has to give me some. who am i to say no? haha!) and last, but certainly not least, it means being able to ride in his usually off-limits-until-he's-here X5. i get to sit up front too! the view and ride up front is definitely different from the ride at the back. hehe. it's off-limits because it's understood that he's the only who can really drive it. that, and no one else really has the guts to drive it. i figure that during the times our driver needs to bring it for service or something-or-other (which hardly happens), he probably drives slower than he usually does. for most of the year, the car gets warmed up in the morning, and every few days, it gets driven just around the block. :p i wouldn't drive this car for sure man.. scary! anyway, i had dinner wi...

everytime i hear this song, it makes me want to close my eyes and just dance. *sigh* Lintik Brownman Revival lintik na pag-ibig parang kidlat puso kong tahimik na naghihintay bigla mong ginulat 'di ko man lang napansin ang iyong pagdating daig mo pa ang isang bagyong namuo sa malayo ihip ng hangin biglang nag-iba sinundan pa ng kulog at kidlat sa biglang buhos ng iyo sa akin ako' napakanta lintik na pag-ibig parang kidlat puso kong tahimik na naghihintay bigla mong ginulat mga halik mo't mga lambing na inuulan mo sa akin binabagyo't binabaha na ako ng iyong mga carino nanaginip ba ako ng gising? ay, tinamaan ng magaling! nadali mo ang puso ko ng iyong kidlat lintik na pag-ibig parang kidlat puso kong tahimik na naghihintay bigla mong ginulat -==- LSS with this song, but i don't mind. :) Last night, Les, Karl, Kris, Yan and I went over to BagaBerde to see a jakarta friend, Lala, sing. Haven't seen her in absolute ages - and we know her sister more than we know he...

the thing is, this weekend was the same as any other weekend - if you look at it generally. it was food, friends, some booze and late nights. but if you look at the tiny details - there were some things that made it, um, extraordinary (in a good and yikes kind of way, hehe). friday - started out as your typical friday. people were busy, i kind of wasn't. by 230pm, almost everyone at work was gone, out on meetings. it was pretty quiet and lazy - add to that the rain coming down in sheets... it was perfect bed weather. needless to say, my mind shut down and i was useless for the rest of the afternoon. except this friday wasn't just your totally ordinary friday. we (accounts girls mostly) were to go out... with our wacky bossing no less. at 6pm, everyone was practically teasing us about our destination... and by 63o, we were outta there. we ate at little asia - which was just gawddamn yummy. thinking bout it now just makes me hungry man!! so much food shared between 7 girls. we di...

quotable quote from Julette: "We sincerely believe that love makes us whole, yet its also the very thing that tears us apart into unmendable pieces." she was talking bout humanity's contradictions, this being one of them. i agree. what else in this world can make you be so many things, sometimes all at the same time? :p -==- I found this article over at peyups.com earlier, as i was surfing. It was interestingly titled, "Everyone's a Cheater". So of course i read it. haha! Check it out here . -==- no matter how blurry, how clear, how perfect, imperfect, professionally done or not - pictures are tangible memories. looking through old pictures the other day, i looked at one picture and in one instant - i was transported back to the day that it was taken. i remember what we did, what happened, how we all felt and how happy we all were that night. It's been about six years since my so-called leaving "party" at CJ's in Hotel Mulia in Jakarta and ...