my First blog

the reason behind the silence is simple: i treasure everything really. and the past is filled with a lot of good memories. anything that falls under the category of the past shall remain forever hidden and silenced. after all, there's no use in dredging up ancient history right? our past includes a lot of secrets, a lot of excuses, a lot of back-up stories and just a lot of fun. that has the right to rest and be placed on a different shelf, for no one to touch. no one to hear. that's the reason for the silence. that, and because i don't want to end up saying something i'll regret. or maybe don't even mean. and there's no use giving everything up, and making everything worse. and because i just... don't want to say anything anymore. cut clean. whatever's with me, is mine. no words out of this girl. not anymore.

i never thought i'd see that day when you'd get up and walk out on us. i guess it was bound to happen, anyway. from now on, until who knows, i'm keeping my silence. no words from me to help you or her - either way. nothing. back to where i was at the start of this - leaving you to your own devices, leaving her to her own devices. i know i'm leaving les to this, but i know he'll understand. nothing i can do or say will help. so i'm keeping my silence. i'm sad. for you. because of you. i'm scared for you. scared of you. a moment of silence please... something died in me today.

i had a horribly interesting weekend. it was both horrible and interesting. since i'm a generally cheery, happy person, i'll start with all the interesting stuff. the interesting stuff: first, we (anton, julette, yan and i) finally tried out brazil, brazil last friday . came out with full stomachs and one of their yoyos as a souvenir (and yes, we asked for it, ok? hehe). saturday had me watching the uaap cheer comp on tv. wasn't able to get tickets... plus, i couldn't have gone anyway since i had to take the car to the casa (watch out for the story on that one in the "horrible" section). yan and i went to the wolfgang tribute at 70s bistro after dinner. kicked ass man! \m/ i was never really able to listen to wolfgang before (at the height of their popularity, i was in jakarta :p) but man, now i'm a fan... years too late! haha! we went only because yan's a big wolfgang fan... at the end of the night, i walked out of 70s bistro with newfound respect ...

about myself this week. don't laugh. it's stupid. i found out this week that i.... don't know how to peel oranges using my fingers! i really don't. pucha, how embarrassing man. :p

super thanks, babe. :) -==- somebody mark this week down somewhere - i've actually got nothing to say. me. nothing to say. damn, that doesn't happen a lot! :p

always stuck in the middle. that's me.

aside from Kristine, my cousin's girlfriend also gave birth yesterday. that makes two inaanak (godchildren) born on the same day. that'll make remembering birthdays easier, definitely. and then this morning, ryan's sister texts me that their eldest sister is in the hospital now, in labor. baby is expected to pop out within the day. wow.. all three people that i knew were pregnant, all giving birth a day apart. asstttiiggg.. :)

i don't know what i'm going to do with you. but if this is the way you want it, then fine. i'm not going to go back on my word, because i'm looking forward to it too. i don't know why you can't just say it's ok. you've already done so anyway. :p but if you're willing to give up time together just for this, then fine. i won't be able to do anything because you're stubborn that way. :p

Kristine gave birth to Bianca today. wohooo!!! it's an "OHMIGAWD" moment. apologies to officemates who saw me squealing like a high school kid earlier as i was on the phone with kris. this is exciting, pare. :p hehe! :D

has anyone noticed that even the advertisment for the upcoming adcongress pokes fun at ricky reyes' infamous "ang ganduuuuhhhhhhhhhh"? hehehehe... funny funny. i swear, everytime i see that shampoo ad, i'm torn between laughing and throwing the remote at the tv from sheer frustration. :D

Seen on the box of a particular brand of soap: For best results: - wet skin. duuuhhhh.......!!!!!! dumb-ass! hahahahaha!

i was texting my mom the other day (tuesday, actually) to ask her about something. in her reply, she mentioned that my sister wasn't doing so well because her best friend had left the night before. she asked me to call my sister just to talk to her. as usual, i didn't know what to say. the sad fact of living as an expat and going to an I.S. is that you never really know who will stay or leave. and sometimes, people just leave with no warning, just when you've gotten complacent and taken for granted that you're all going to be in one place for a long time. it's sadder still, when you've practically grown up with that person, only to be hit with the reality that yes - even tho it seemed impossible - they are leaving town. poor kid. that's a lot to take. nothing shakes up your life more than to find a normally permanent fixture in your life gone . scarier still to realize that you may never see them again - unless of course, fate is kind to you and brings you b...