my First blog

When apathy is the story of your life We're in a state of emergency. Exactly what that means for us normal people, i'm not quite sure. I guess it means... be good and be careful with what you say? :p But i know that there must be something really wrong with me when all i can feel about this is... naught. It's a struggle to focus on the news. Somehow, being blissfully ignorant is preferable. At least, you don't have to spend time worrying. Yet i know i can't escape it, i should at least be up to date. I do hope though, that something good does come out of whatever is happening now. Because damn... all I see right now is just a bunch of politicing and power play. I have yet to see how this will be advantageous to the rest of the people. I'm all for fighting in what you believe in - i just hope that they're really confident that what they believe in is good for everyone else. Until this is done, life goes on like normal for the rest of us who can't be bothe...

such as this remind me a lot of my childhood afternoons. afternoons were sacred to me - it meant laughter, friendship and carefree days under the sun. i remember being all antsy, waiting for the clock to hit 330 so i could go out. so whenever it is hot and windy such as today, and i'm standing out in the balcony - i feel peace. it's such a nice, familiar feeling. so standing outside earlier, letting the wind blow through my hair, while talking to you was a great pleasure. lovely afternoons made more lovely simply because you were there. -==- have i told you lately how much i appreciate our conversations? and i'm surprised that you think you're being spoken to through me. if that is the case, i really don't mind. all i know is, i'm just telling you things as i see it and as i know it. :) isn't it amazing when sometimes, without you really thinking about it nor consciously praying for it, things fall into place? it makes you think that maybe you're really ...

and maybe because writing it down may make them real: (in no particular order) A. Things I want to do: (now, in the near future, whenever) 1. Go to the beach 2. Buy a new bikini 3. "Check out options" 4. Set up the mazda's sound system - i'm envious of Alexis' Xplod... 5. Buy my own place 6. Travel to: France, UK, Rome, Switzerland, Brazil, Greece, the Caribbean, Spain and to a whole load of other places 7. Buy myself a diamond jewelry set - earrings, necklace, ring 8. Buy another Technomarine watch 9. Buy another Coach bag 10. Buy another D&B Bag 11. Buy new pairs of shoes (yesh, in plural form) 12. Buy Havaianas Filipinas 13. Go home to Jakarta - by myself, with friends, doesn't matter 14. Be more firm with boxing schedules 15. Hang out with sayangku - but i can do this anytime. i just always want to. :) 16. See my friends 17. Plan with my girls the next great big FILC adventure 18. Try being an expat in a relatively nice place 19. SAVE MONEY! 20. Get m...

i got all gigil just looking at these pictures. i'm thankful for the big age gaps between me, aneka and inna. it meant that i got to spend time with these cute little things and actually remember them. now that they're both all grown, i miss these babies! ahaha! ANEKA - curly sue daw because she was... curly! ahaha! well, she's still curly. her hair's just all rebonded now. haha! INNA - apple cheeks naman. check the pictures out, need i say more?? ahaha! oh goodness. those were fun, fun days. my favorite memory of aneka as a baby - i'd put my head on her lap and she'd get all gigil with me. i'd end up full of baby-laway from her trying to bite off my nose but it was so much fun. ahaha! my favorite memory of aneka as a toddler - mommy was getting mad at me while we were studying and she felt so bad for me that she cried din. she made me laugh na lang tuloy. ahaha! :) my favorite memory of inna as a baby - she'd always be awake whenever i said bye to ...

it's things like bash.org that keeps me happy in my seat. it may be corny, but damn this made me laugh: Nori123: You don't know jack shit VioletSky: That's not true, I know him well Nori123: Haha VioletSky: I'm serious VioletSky: Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children VioletSky: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. VioletSky: However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. VioletSky: She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and ...

impromptu gimiks are fun. last night, as we were walking to the parking lot to our respective cars, we heard music. well, i heard music, he heard karl roy's distinctive voice. karl roy doing a mellow set at segafredo on a thursday evening? what are the chances of you actually catching one of those? so we hastily changed directions, grabbed a table and sat there and listened. :) kick-ass, man. -==- i firmly believe that we are always guided into the directions we take. sometimes though, i get this feeling that we also have a hand in steering ourselves into where we are going. but then, in the same breath, i also believe that we're still guided whenever we exert our decision-making faculties at any given time. all i mean by this is, i know i'm being guided down this road. i know i made a decision to go down this road, but i also know i was led down here too. labo, i know. :p i may have to make a decision again sometime soon... and i'm gonna need all the help that i can ge...

Click here for my Johari Window -==- sometimes, all it takes with me is the right question. so good job, dude. ahahaha! -==- my blog entries have become increasingly vague haven't they? i'm sure that when the time comes and i'm reading back, i'd be looking at all these now thinking, what the hell was that?! :p aahaha. oh well.

Carpaccio is damn yummy!!! (tee-hee. yun lang ang aaminin ko) It was so delish man. delish!! :) I relished every bite I took so much that I still can somehow imagine them till now. That's how much I loved it. And the amaretto gelato was yummy too!! Sayangku, thanks mucho for dinner. I really had no idea where we were going, even when we got there (lam mo naman, lost child in Manila always ako)! haha! It was awesome! I totally loved it. :) and i'm glad that you loved my gift! yay! -==- I got another email today and it kind of made me cry - only because it saddens me that he still puts so much stock in me. Please don't consider this a "vacation" - because I don't think it is. And I think it holds you back. sigh. -==- i don't know what's wrong with me today, but i'm feeling extra-lethargic. even my legs aren't cooperating with me today. If i could, i'd go and curl up in a corner now and sleep. sigh.

by Lifehouse I can't keep up and I can't back down I've been losing so much time cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing to lose and it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you all of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right I'm tripping inwards you got my head spinning I don't know where to go from here cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing to prove and it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you there's something about you now I can't quite figure out everything she does is beautiful everything she does is right cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do nothing to prove and it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you what day is it and in what month this clock never...

It's funny how something as simple as watching someone trying on sunglasses can be classified as a "whoa" moment. I was doing just that yesterday and I swear to God my heart fell. It did, it did! sigh. *starry-eyed* Oh gawd, this is bordering on pathetic isn't it?? :p Goodness. tee-hee. Forgive me, this doesn't happen often. -==- Calo was fascinating yesterday. I'd never seen him so animated and talkative! I guess that's probably because no one's ever paid much attention to him the way someone did yesterday. He just kept talking and talking to Calo - so in turn, Calo kept talking back. And he was so happy with being able to show off his toys and his books and just make kwento. it was so fun to watch. I just realized that Calo's truly a big boy now, who should really be off to big school already. I gotta fix that one up. :p The cutest part of yesterday? Right before he left, Calo walked up to him and asked him if he was going to come back to the hou...

i hardly do this, but hey, got tagged by Cia! :) here are the rules: 1) The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of his/her perfect lover 2) Need to mention the sex of the target 3) Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged 4) If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again. 8 "pogi" points: I want someone who: a) has a great sense of humor - someone who'll see the bright sides in anything and who can make me laugh. b) is fun to talk to - i want someone who i can talk to about everything, anything and nothing from the mababaw to the deep for hours on end. c) has drive in life - he knows what he wants and he knows how and when to go after it d) loves life and lives it to the fullest as much as he can - no matter how dreary things get, he never forgets that this life is worth living and is game for anything. e) is protective, caring and malambing - i know he can take care of me, he wants to ...

i had a bunch of "whoa"/"wow" moments last night. it was pretty funny though, because it wasn't as if the whole thing was still very new. sure, it's slightly new but the "whoa" moments i was getting last night made me feel like everything was just sinking in right then. =D that probably makes no sense but that's how i was last night. had loads of fun sitting around and talking about anything and whatever. and it's getting harder and harder to say bye at the end of each night. haaay. :) saya. wala lang.

he just told me that i will be throwing away our "wonderful friendship" should i push through with something. i wonder if he knows that he threw away every chance of that during that first time he went after me in a public place, after i've told him that i didn't want to see him? and that it was gone forever by the time he cornered me in front of work and had me follow him into the park only to threaten to hurt himself with a knife that he had with him if i didn't go back? i had already known, with the way things were going, that friendship will not exist. this is the reason why i think all the conversations are futile. this is the reason why the words and phrases in the post below exist. i am sad. mad. sick of everything. but if this means that i'll finally have peace and that he'll leave me alone then fine. i leave you to it. but if you had listened to me carefully, you would've known that i've been saying the same things in forever. and if you h...

NO. Ayoko na. Tama na. Leave me alone. Stop na. -==- now that it's written down, does that make it easier to understand???? sana naman.

i have all these reasons to smile about. yet i've been fighting to keep that smile off my face because i don't particularly feel like explaining why it's there. that is, until a friend pointed out as a joke that there really was no point in trying to keep it in, unless i want my mouth and jaws all confused about what they're meant to do. haha! so smile i shall then. :) i was just reading waiterrant.net where he quoted Jean Paul Sartre - "Hell is other people". And then he acknowledges at the end of his post that Sartre "was only half right. Heaven can be other people too." He's right tho. You can find hell in some people but there are those who make up for it because they're Heaven. And the reason behind my smiles? My little version of heaven.

2.3.6 rocks. tee-hee. -==- i don't totally suck at mini-golf and it's fun man!!! especially when you don't really keep score because you're there for fun and yet still feel competitive somehow ("you smoked me on that one!" "yeaaahhh!!!"). haha! :) -==- Filos at the Fort has hella good food!! yumyumyum!! :) -==- speed shopping is possible... but it makes you miss out on things you want to buy even though they're right under your nose. -==- even though i'm in a different country, i can still feel left out. my family went on a tech shopping spree over the weekend. i wish i was there. better yet, they should just send me money so i can buy something for myself too and don't feel totally left out. ehehehe. :) -==- gym-hopping is fun. golds is making me starry-eyed. fitness first plus isn't as awesome as i thought it would be. tee-hee. but i'm still stuck on boxing. i can't wait to go back. -==- proms ARE a big deal! saw girls from ...

it's the weekend! there are about 2 hours left to the actual work day and i can't wait to get outta here. -==- the past two days has seen us downloading and downloading songs off limewire. the thing that makes that so noteworthy is that we decided to download songs from our "past". in my case - high school. in other's - college. you know how people have comfort foods? i have comfort music and these are it. so now i have this cool-assed playlist in my ipod that i can't get enough of. it currently has about 70-something songs and i still have more to add. can't wait to add the rest. -==- tried out boxing last night. finally finally, after about a year of les and them inviting. can't wait to get my own wraps and my own gloves and do it regularly. i had fun man. :) -==- i am putting it in my blog, so my friends can be my witnesses. i am officially no longer shopping for this month, and hopefully the next month too. the last that i will buy are the stuff fo...

the sad thing about everything is that i never wanted things to end up like this. i never wanted to see him as a pest. or a nuisance. or a desperate case. i never wanted my image of him tarnished because despite everything, i do appreciate all the time we spent together. we did have a lot of good times. we just grew up apart that's all. but everything is so strange now. i've gotten impatient. i turn into this bitch everytime i hear his voice on the phone. i don't want to see him. i don't want to hear from him. i want him to leave me alone. i want him to try to leave me alone. i don't believe anything he says anymore. i don't even believe any of his "promises" no matter who he swears by. i don't understand why he can't get it into his head that no, no, no, i really don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. -==- and that is the last i will post about him. the rant below should be enough na for this blog.

you know what? i hate your self-righteous bullshit. you say i took the easier road? nothing is ever the "easier" road. my road has its risks, ones that i am willing to face and take because i feel like i could be happier here. you say mine is "easy" only because i "gave up", as you say, didn't stay and sacrifice and worked things out. but you know what? i did work hard, i did try my best and i did my fucking best all the damn time in the past five fucking years. you were the one who took me for granted, who admitted to have stayed even though you got "sawa" for a time because you wanted to wait for things to get better again. who was the selfish one there? you should've just let me go then! and yet, you still took me for freaking granted, and now that i'm gone, you want to make bawi? too fucking late, dude... am sorry. and then now, now you take a different tack and tell me that i should think about "who whispers in our ears to t...