Stay or Go?

The question is always in mind, but it only comes to the forefront whenever i want to. the past few days tho, it's been in the forefront. when left alone, i think about it often.

there are a lot of things about this country that make you want to stay. lots of very good reasons, in fact. but there are also factors that make you want to leave. important ones too, i might add. so mostly, the battle in my mind has been focused on answering the question above: do i want to stay or do i want to go?

as is obvious, i'm torn. i don't know if i want to stay. i don't know if i can leave again.

it has been said about me so many times by so many different people that if i had the chance, i'd probably up and leave. i can see myself doing it. in my head. but in actuality, i don't know if i can.

if i wanted to go, i can probably make it work. i can try so that the option is available to me. in fact, if i really wanted to, i can seek that help that i know is available but been refusing all this time. maybe if i took myself out of my comfort zone and actually ask, maybe it will happen. maybe it won't. but the fact remains, to make those moves, i'll still have to choose.

stay or go?

so hard to go...

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