early evening talk shows
since i was home the whole day, i spent most of the day in front of the tv (which is really, really abnormal for me). I ended up catching Mel and Joey and Y Speak Live (or something like that) which were on at the same time at 7 and 23 respectively.
Anyway, Mel and Joey were talking about "Sexiness" while Y Speak was talking about Long Distance Relationships and Flings. From what i caught from each (i was watching that, along with average joe.. yess.. short attention span, hehe), it was highly interesting.
So, Mel and Joey basically concluded that sexiness is not just having a great body, but a great mind also. And that yes, in our society, "being sexy" plays a big part. they also had a lot of features of actresses who used to be fat but are now thin. They talked about how they hated being the fat girl, being teased and crap like that.
Man, talk about seeing my own life! haha! yeah, well, i used to be really, really fat too as a child. I think my heaviest was at 125-130lbs at age 12. now that's a lot. i remember being fascinated at watching my weight get higher by 10lbs every year as a kid. now that i think about it, that was crazy! it shouldn't have been a source of fascination. i guess i just thought that that meant i was "growing up". anyway, i didn't know any better, i was always chubby anyway. i think my family was starting to get really worried when i ballooned to that weight when we got to jakarta and had that 5-month summer break (i ended grade school in march.. school started in september, hence the long break). So anyway, i didn't have any major epiphanies or had someone call me "fat" to my face (funnily enough, that hardly happened... maybe cause i always had so many friends?? i dunno) to convince me to become thinner.
i turned 13 and the weight just started to melt away... :p
it was really strange because i didn't really notice it happening. Only that i was starting to fit into smaller sizes and that i had to start buying new clothes. and that i had to fold my school skirt from the top so it would tighten and become shorter (it would hang onto my hips and subsequently become longer than it should have been). i came home for a holiday and my own lolo didn't recognize me as i approached him in the airport.
and after that, i was no longer the fat girl.
oh and yes, this is also the basis for my weight issues. :p the recent weight gain has been really hard for me, i guess harder than anyone has realized. i've had to brace myself whenever i'd see people again after a long time because the first words out of their mouth are, "uy, tumataba ka!" and i can't do anything because i know i have gained weight but it really worries me everytime i hear that. and then when i look in the mirror again, i feel like i've ballooned twice as much as when i first looked at the mirror that morning.
it's actually amazing that i haven't developed an eating disorder yet. i guess it's because i hate throwing up and i just can't starve myself. :p
it doesn't help also that i know it bugs my boyfriend to no end whenever he hears me complain about my weight - half the time, i only need to hear him say that it's ok, you can handle it. except he tells me, ano ba, you keep complaining but you don't do anything. and well, being a girl, i hate hearing it because i feel like i get no sympathy! haha! :p (yes, we women are complex beings. if we complain, you can't complain with us. hehe)
so anyway, i may not show it, but the anxiety is there. :p i guess i'll never be satisfied until i'll be as small as i was back in high school... which i know, i know, probably won't happen again because i'm older now and have needed to... erm, fill out. :p
maybe i should develop an eating disorder so i can satisfy myself!
ahaha!
i'm kidding, i'm kidding.. please no lectures. i'm not that bad. :)
-==-
so Y Speak was talking about flings and long distance relationships and there was this whole heated debate going about it. but of course, that's everyone's favorite topic - whether to be loyal or whether a fling is "acceptable". and everyone had their reasons, with the everyone defending their stands every which way.
i won't even try to comment on this because then it'd be too long to type -- but it's one of those things that make for interesting conversations with other people. :)
-==-
man, the things that TV makes you think about. interesting stuff. haha!
Anyway, Mel and Joey were talking about "Sexiness" while Y Speak was talking about Long Distance Relationships and Flings. From what i caught from each (i was watching that, along with average joe.. yess.. short attention span, hehe), it was highly interesting.
So, Mel and Joey basically concluded that sexiness is not just having a great body, but a great mind also. And that yes, in our society, "being sexy" plays a big part. they also had a lot of features of actresses who used to be fat but are now thin. They talked about how they hated being the fat girl, being teased and crap like that.
Man, talk about seeing my own life! haha! yeah, well, i used to be really, really fat too as a child. I think my heaviest was at 125-130lbs at age 12. now that's a lot. i remember being fascinated at watching my weight get higher by 10lbs every year as a kid. now that i think about it, that was crazy! it shouldn't have been a source of fascination. i guess i just thought that that meant i was "growing up". anyway, i didn't know any better, i was always chubby anyway. i think my family was starting to get really worried when i ballooned to that weight when we got to jakarta and had that 5-month summer break (i ended grade school in march.. school started in september, hence the long break). So anyway, i didn't have any major epiphanies or had someone call me "fat" to my face (funnily enough, that hardly happened... maybe cause i always had so many friends?? i dunno) to convince me to become thinner.
i turned 13 and the weight just started to melt away... :p
it was really strange because i didn't really notice it happening. Only that i was starting to fit into smaller sizes and that i had to start buying new clothes. and that i had to fold my school skirt from the top so it would tighten and become shorter (it would hang onto my hips and subsequently become longer than it should have been). i came home for a holiday and my own lolo didn't recognize me as i approached him in the airport.
and after that, i was no longer the fat girl.
oh and yes, this is also the basis for my weight issues. :p the recent weight gain has been really hard for me, i guess harder than anyone has realized. i've had to brace myself whenever i'd see people again after a long time because the first words out of their mouth are, "uy, tumataba ka!" and i can't do anything because i know i have gained weight but it really worries me everytime i hear that. and then when i look in the mirror again, i feel like i've ballooned twice as much as when i first looked at the mirror that morning.
it's actually amazing that i haven't developed an eating disorder yet. i guess it's because i hate throwing up and i just can't starve myself. :p
it doesn't help also that i know it bugs my boyfriend to no end whenever he hears me complain about my weight - half the time, i only need to hear him say that it's ok, you can handle it. except he tells me, ano ba, you keep complaining but you don't do anything. and well, being a girl, i hate hearing it because i feel like i get no sympathy! haha! :p (yes, we women are complex beings. if we complain, you can't complain with us. hehe)
so anyway, i may not show it, but the anxiety is there. :p i guess i'll never be satisfied until i'll be as small as i was back in high school... which i know, i know, probably won't happen again because i'm older now and have needed to... erm, fill out. :p
maybe i should develop an eating disorder so i can satisfy myself!
ahaha!
i'm kidding, i'm kidding.. please no lectures. i'm not that bad. :)
-==-
so Y Speak was talking about flings and long distance relationships and there was this whole heated debate going about it. but of course, that's everyone's favorite topic - whether to be loyal or whether a fling is "acceptable". and everyone had their reasons, with the everyone defending their stands every which way.
i won't even try to comment on this because then it'd be too long to type -- but it's one of those things that make for interesting conversations with other people. :)
-==-
man, the things that TV makes you think about. interesting stuff. haha!
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