flashbacks
last night, as i was crawling around in my bedroom looking for something, i came across our old diary. i say our because i shared this diary with four other friends back in year 9. each person got to take it home for about a day or two, and they get to write in it. whatever's in it is never said out loud, each girl who has it for the day guards it with her life. there are three of these - the first is with jung hwa, the second with me and the third is either with megha or andrea.
so anyway, i came across the second one, picked it up and started to read it again.
duuuddeee.. i can't believe how young i sound in those entries (well, duh! i was 14). and if you can declare love to a different person every week, that was definitely the time to do it. more than half of the things we talked about were the guys we were supposedly "in love" with (for that week, that month, for the whole year, whatever the case may be). they were the guys at school, guys in the big screen. we had lists, "i love whoever" written in whole pages (megha did this a lot) and statements like, "he hates me guys, i know it!"
fascinating. and funny. i know we spent a lot of time analysing, thinking and re-thinking if someone was worthy enough to be "loved", fishing around for info...
ohmigoodness. these were some of the biggest issues of our life back then?
how incredibly simple things were. :p
-==-
and because i find it funny, here are some of the things i actually wrote (at 14 years old), copied exactly the way i wrote it, no editing:
angsty me:
"I just finished crying, coz, like, my mum was telling me that i shouldn't follow those things that they say in mags, like, make-up, bfs and all. i mean, it was ok if only she wasn't shouting at me. it sounded as if she was accusing me of actually doing those stuff. she went on and on about how i shouldn't go out with guys or saying that maybe i want to like, not finish school or something. Hello?! do you guys think i'm that stupid? i appreciate the lecture but it really hurt coz her tone of voice sounded as if i was really doing it or something... i mean, it's like, she hates me or something. like, she thinks i'm really stupid like she can't trust me! "
"... ya know, there are times when i don't like going home coz these days, my mum finds something that i do wrong (ok, every single thing I do) and snaps at me. it's like, the only way she can talk to me is by snapping at me. sometimes, she's ok but these days..."
all about boys, boys, boys:
"there's nuthin' new in skool as usual. 'wind in the willows' is quite good. and don'tcha reckon that adam looks really cute? i just noticed."
"Now and Then is the best movie i've seen. It's like, about friendship and you can totally relate to it. Devon Sawa's just kinda like a bonus thrown in. He's gorge!"
"okay, i don't like james anymore! it's coz, let's face it, he's a dick. like, sometimes he's this really nice person and acts like a friend. on other times, he acts like such a dick that it annoys me even if he's just, like, standing there. it's kinda hard to explain."
stressed DAW!
"Stress! super-stressed out! that's how i feel, today. okay, that's how i feel this week and it's only Tuesday and i'm revisin' my butt off for sciences and geography coz i won't have time on thurs. i've got a violin concert can you believe that?! super-stress! i also have a rehearsal tomorrow and i have to revise for my French listening. Not to mention other stuff! Aaah!! How am i gonna fit this all in!"
"i've got a maths mock tom. and i'm gonna fail. i haven't done half of what she said. i'm gonna be dead."
"i'm so bored and so sleepy. i'm tired of our routine (school-home-school). exams are comin' up and i'm busy doin my revision notes. that's how i think i'll spend my whole Friday afternoon doing. so that there'll be no worries next week. just revise my butt off. i hate revising."
-==-
Stuff i noticed:
i swear more when i talk than when i write - i remember that by this time, i was already swearing pretty badly. haha!
i said "like" a lot - even while writing.
i'm was not as angtsy as i initially thought i was.
haha! holy shit. this shit is funny.
oh, and this diary is kulang!! ahahaha!
so anyway, i came across the second one, picked it up and started to read it again.
duuuddeee.. i can't believe how young i sound in those entries (well, duh! i was 14). and if you can declare love to a different person every week, that was definitely the time to do it. more than half of the things we talked about were the guys we were supposedly "in love" with (for that week, that month, for the whole year, whatever the case may be). they were the guys at school, guys in the big screen. we had lists, "i love whoever" written in whole pages (megha did this a lot) and statements like, "he hates me guys, i know it!"
fascinating. and funny. i know we spent a lot of time analysing, thinking and re-thinking if someone was worthy enough to be "loved", fishing around for info...
ohmigoodness. these were some of the biggest issues of our life back then?
how incredibly simple things were. :p
-==-
and because i find it funny, here are some of the things i actually wrote (at 14 years old), copied exactly the way i wrote it, no editing:
angsty me:
"I just finished crying, coz, like, my mum was telling me that i shouldn't follow those things that they say in mags, like, make-up, bfs and all. i mean, it was ok if only she wasn't shouting at me. it sounded as if she was accusing me of actually doing those stuff. she went on and on about how i shouldn't go out with guys or saying that maybe i want to like, not finish school or something. Hello?! do you guys think i'm that stupid? i appreciate the lecture but it really hurt coz her tone of voice sounded as if i was really doing it or something... i mean, it's like, she hates me or something. like, she thinks i'm really stupid like she can't trust me! "
"... ya know, there are times when i don't like going home coz these days, my mum finds something that i do wrong (ok, every single thing I do) and snaps at me. it's like, the only way she can talk to me is by snapping at me. sometimes, she's ok but these days..."
all about boys, boys, boys:
"there's nuthin' new in skool as usual. 'wind in the willows' is quite good. and don'tcha reckon that adam looks really cute? i just noticed."
"Now and Then is the best movie i've seen. It's like, about friendship and you can totally relate to it. Devon Sawa's just kinda like a bonus thrown in. He's gorge!"
"okay, i don't like james anymore! it's coz, let's face it, he's a dick. like, sometimes he's this really nice person and acts like a friend. on other times, he acts like such a dick that it annoys me even if he's just, like, standing there. it's kinda hard to explain."
stressed DAW!
"Stress! super-stressed out! that's how i feel, today. okay, that's how i feel this week and it's only Tuesday and i'm revisin' my butt off for sciences and geography coz i won't have time on thurs. i've got a violin concert can you believe that?! super-stress! i also have a rehearsal tomorrow and i have to revise for my French listening. Not to mention other stuff! Aaah!! How am i gonna fit this all in!"
"i've got a maths mock tom. and i'm gonna fail. i haven't done half of what she said. i'm gonna be dead."
"i'm so bored and so sleepy. i'm tired of our routine (school-home-school). exams are comin' up and i'm busy doin my revision notes. that's how i think i'll spend my whole Friday afternoon doing. so that there'll be no worries next week. just revise my butt off. i hate revising."
-==-
Stuff i noticed:
i swear more when i talk than when i write - i remember that by this time, i was already swearing pretty badly. haha!
i said "like" a lot - even while writing.
i'm was not as angtsy as i initially thought i was.
haha! holy shit. this shit is funny.
oh, and this diary is kulang!! ahahaha!
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