my First blog

i am ... FRUSTRATED !!! that damn market research earlier juz really really made me mad. and we did everything she asked to!!! grrr... but that is over and i can't do anything bout it anymore. but i sure would like to COMPLAIN!!! i am... DISMAYED !! damn.. one of my homeworks for PR gave me a really low grade, lower than i ever had. =P thing is, i'm not even one to get all bothered by a low grade.. i've never been. but i was juz so dismayed kanina. =P i just laughed it off.. i mean, there's nothing i can do right? and i guess there's a first time for everything! hahaha!! =) i am... DISILLUSIONED !! heard something over the comm grapevine that just completely made me lose respect for the authority. how could they do that?!?!!? damn man... they're holding MY future in their hands. and just because of some favoritism shit, there's a possibility that my future gets messed up with. and i'm working so hard man. it's a possibility. and it's s...

i feel a little... bad... :P how? well... i've been asking for something... and i've been pretty insistent about it. i don't even know why i'm asking for it, i just feel like something's missing if i don't get that. you know what i mean? plus... i think i'm doing it because i'm in desperate need to feel... pampered? loved? secure? comforted? I DUNNO! strange right? because it's not as if i don't get all that. haaayy.. being a woman is quite, quite weird sometimes even if i do say so. i want things that i can't explain and it makes me crazy if i don't get it. ahahaha! life life life. oh life. but i really really really want something and i'll do anything to get it. and i really will try. hmm.. my stubborness is coming out. gotta get back to work!

i'm still envious. haaay.... i hope school ends already so i can rest and maybe think about this further because i really can't understand WHY i'm feeling like this. hmm.. or... it could be that i'm PMS-ing...! yeah... must be almost that time. :P so... looks like there's gonna be war. i really hope not. i have to keep myself posted, with all these things in school, i haven't really been able to pay attention and i should! bad trip with my parents earlier. i'm in eastwood doing part of my project and they're asking why i'm there. it's a good thing i didn't get any more arguments from them when i replied. i'm in no mood for them to lecture me or whatever because i am doing this for school. i'm tired already as it is and damn man... they really shouldn't give me shit anymore. i mean, they're the ones who want me to do well right?!?! so they had better just let me get on with it. besides, they need to get used to do th...

My new mantra: I can do this, I can do this, I CAN DO THIS!!!! yes i can, i will and i will do it so well that well, people will be proud of me. oohh yeah!! like it? well, it's my little pep talk that i give myself everynight. i'm sure most of my friends are doing the same thing right now too! because WE CAN DO THIS!! hehehe Chicago is a great movie!!! helen asked me earlier how i apparently can still watch movies, forward useless emails, hang out with my boyfriend, have a (sort of) life and still get high grades. THAT stunned me. totally. i didn't know what to say because.. well, because i have no idea how i do it too. i mean, is that what i do??? (tsk tsk, clueless me) is it because i cram? is it because i don't do enough work? what the hell do i do man?!?! because i really, really didn't even realize what i was doing until helen said so earlier. am i juz lucky? or am i juz slacking off more than everyone else? what is it? but i guess... ...

It's the last two weeks of school (third week doesn't count much...) it's that time of the sem where you give everything you've got - sleep, sanity, brain cells, everything! - just to finish all that's been assigned to you. damn. it should be exciting. i can't wait for it to be over! this 5th year thing is driving me crazier than i've ever let anyone know. it's expected of me.. and i guess it's also because i don't exactly have a back up plan if ever. but hey, i refuse to think negatively. besides, if you really want something, everything in the world conspires with you to get it right? haaayyy.. i was talking to a friend yesterday about another friend. It made me think about how hard it really is to be a good friend to someone. You want to help them, but there's only so much you can do. It made me realize that you can't really help someone if they refuse your help in the first place. But as a good friend, you can't help it right? ...

i really don't have much today. except that i'm half asleep since i only got 4 hours sleep last night but it was well worth it because our presentation went well earlier. =) so it's all good. just that.. i'm feeling a little sad. sort of. i guess i'm not just used to it. my baby started his 9pm-6am shift today and i didn't get to talk to him all day except for a few texts here and there. i can't even really text him now because he won't be able to reply.. they're not really allowed to bring their phones near their stations and all that. oh well.. i hope he has fun tho. it's more training tonight. =) it's strange because i just realized that whenever i'm awake, he's gonna be asleep and whenever i'm asleep, he's gonna be awake working. when do we talk man? oh well.. i will get used to this. i feel like we've been taken back to when we first started going out and we could only see each other around once a week or somethin...

damn man... i didn't get to exercise today!! i picked working on my ethics rather than doing crunches.. =P oh well, i'm going to the gym tomorrow so i can make up for it then. people really do have different opinions huh? i was just thinking... i saw daredevil last saturday with my baby and we both liked it. thing is, we've been hearing like, so many different opinions from people around us, people who liked it and people who hated it. so it's pretty funny because unlike some movies that everyone basically has the same opinion on, you sort of have to tread carefully. so instead of saying, "man!! that movie was so awesome!", you say, "uh... i saw daredevil the other... what did you think of it?" wait for the answer and say, "oh... i liked it! =)" if they liked it and "oh... oh well.. i liked it. :P" if they didn't. it made me realize that no matter how alike some people seem to be, there will always be things that you'l...